Next on “America’s Most Wanted”: Gen. Ali Hassan al Majeed. Known as “Chemical Ali,” al Majeed is wanted for ordering Iraqi forces to use chemical weapons on Kurds in northern Iraq in 1988. Gray-haired and with a mustache resembling that of his cousin, Saddam Hussein, al Majeed “has been hiding his identity by dressing up in plain attire, so he can blend into the populace.” Informants also report that he has been driving around southern Iraq “in an old red car, possibly a 1979 Nissan.”

John Walsh, call your office.

UPDATE: Case closed.